||[Sep. 11th, 2003|02:19 am]
A few tips for when your out to eat
-It's a good idea to READ the damn menu
-Don't shake you empty glass at me. I see it. Don't forget I have to go in the back(where you cant see) and refill it...And i'll take my time getting to it
-When I'm trying to tell you something.. Get off the phone and stop talking
-lets all say this together "Please" and "thank you"
-If you had a real good time please tip like you did. YOur verbal tip wont pay my rent
-If you ask for something, dont bitch about it when you get it.
-please control your kids
-when i tell you that the plate is real hot and I'm holding it with a towel. I'm not lying. and I will laugh at you when you touch it and burn yourself
-please don't ask for water and a lot of lemons and make your own lemonade... If you cant afford a lemonade, get the fuck out
-please don't hand me a plate when I'm already caring 3 plates in my hands. If you really want i'll try and balance your plate on my head.
-If you just waited an hour for the table and then you order a well done steak.. Its going to take more then 10 minutes to get your food
-If you make the worlds best lasagna.. Dont order it at a resturant
-Orzo Pasta is NOT rice. Its PASTA not rice. after I tell you 5 times its not rice please don't refer to it as rice, I will just ignore your dumb ass.
Here are my favorite questions
-No you can not order off the kids menu
-Yes, there is meat in the "meat sauce"
-water is free...and i'll throw on a lemon if you ask
-Do you have water?
-"The menu says its spicy, and you said its spicy. So is it spicy?"
-"Last time i was here,like a month ago, I ordered a dish with BLAH BLAH BLAH, I dont see it on the menu do you know what it was?"
ME: No sir, we don't have anything like that, How about this(recomend something similar)....
Them:"Last time I was here I had it, You most be new."
ME "nope not new.. Been here over 2 1/2 years.. Your thinking about the wrong resturant"
-"Do you have wine?" No maam, this bottle that I'm holding that says Chianti is filled with grape juice
-"Is that your real name?" you got me,Marc is the most creative name I could come up with
-Yes there are meat balls in the meat ball Lasagna
-No you can't bring in your own drinks